Kavalier & Clay Part 4 - Wrestling With Identity

In Part Four, our principal characters all discover, or struggle to discover, some new part of who they are in the world, to each other, and to themselves: a revolution of character driven by the heart. In particular, Sammy wrestles with a particularly difficult aspect of his identity: his homosexuality.

In Part Four, we are introduced to a character who carries himself not with "a confidence in his own abilites" but rather "an assuredness of being welcome wherever he went" (309): Tracy Bacon. Despite this quality, Sammy recognizes him to be "lonely" (307). One place in which Bacon becomes welcome is Sammy's heart, though this process is lengthy and fraught with self-doubt on the part of Sammy. After meeting at a rehearsal for the Escapist's radio show in which Bacon voices the titular character, the two go out drinking before meeting Sammy's mom and grandmother for dinner. Towards the night's conclusion Ethel inquires after Bacon's radio-acting abilities, which Sammy characterizes as "'all right...He was good. Yeah, I think he'll do fine.'" Ethel's follow-up inquisition of "Will he?" followed by her "[looking] him in the eye for the first time all evening" (313) suggests something interesting about not only Ethel and Sammy's dynamic, but of the nature of motherhood. Often, it can be said that the people closest to an individual know them better than they know themselves; this concept ring especially true in the case of mothers. In a person's life, certainly their childhood and young adult life (the only life Sammy has to this point experienced), no one is as concerned with their wellbeing as their mother (barring certain unfortunate instances of neglect or orphanage). Ethel's "Will he?" can be seen in different lights, though they all take on a protective hue. She could be concerned that her son is straying down an immoral path–Sammy himself acknowledges the protestations of his "Judeo-Christian prohibitions and attitudes" (352) during his and Bacon's first shared kiss–and questioning the integrity of a man she sees to be leading her son astray. Or, more lovingly, she may be more concerned with the protection of her son's heart than his soul. Both of these possibilities elude Sammy, however, as he "would never know exactly what she had meant by that look" (313).

Following this cryptic question and poorly cooked meal, and preceding the bombing of Pearl Harbor, Sammy takes up a volunteer position surveying the New York night sky for aircraft. One stormy night, this monotonous stargazing is interrupted by a visit from Tracy Bacon, bringing with him a stolen dinner and a relationship in ruin. Throughout this scene, we see both characters in fear of something at various points. As Bacon runs amok in the watchtower, Sammy fears him in the way the owner of a china shop fears a bull: he envisions him falling through solid glass windows (upon which he leans) and falsely alerting (by way of a jokingly raised telephone receiver) the US Army of an imminent invasion. These fears reflect Sammy's feelings of unease around Bacon, as he represents to Sammy the handsome, confident, charismatic man he wishes he could be. He sees Bacon doing things he would not dare to do, finding himself both intrigued and petrified. 

Later, as they indulge in what should have been Helen Portola's birthday dinner, they find themselves interrupted by a distant thunderstorm, and head out onto the balcony to investigate. Now it is Bacon's turn to be alarmed, "A feather of laughter [fluttering] in Bacon's voice" alerting Sammy to his fearful state. Jumping at Sammy's lighter, nervously asking after the building's predisposition to lightning strikes, and taking swigs of Burgundy, he seems a far cry from his normal charming self. This fear stems from the fact that here, faced with this violent tantrum of Mother Nature, he is not the one in control. No cloud can be charmed with a smile; rain will not halt itself for fear of disturbing his golden locks of hair; a bolt of lightning feels no compulsion to welcome Tracy Bacon in any capacity other than as a conduit. Perhaps then it was this lack of a sense of agency that spurred him to suddenly lock his lips to Sammy's, taking back control of the moment.

Following this kiss, once again the pendulum of fear swings back towards Sammy. The narration indicates a newfound fear of the storm, "as if in spite of all he had been told" (352) by an electrician. More than that, though, is a fear again of Bacon, but this time not of the harm that he may bring upon himself or the country or Sammy's volunteer position, rather on Sammy's own notions of his identity. 

This first kiss is not their last. The pair (not a couple truly, since Sammy balks at the label of Bacon as his "boyfriend" and especially of himself as a "homosexual," despite admitting his love for Bacon) come to know each other intimately, in mind and body, and even eventually plan to move to Los Angeles for a time to work on a Citizen Kane-inspired film adaptation of the Escapist, with Tracy as the leading man and Sammy as the scriptwriter. However, this aspiration and so much more are shattered the night before the bombing of Pearl Harbor. While Joe learns of his brother's death and Rosa searches for him, Sammy and Bacon are in the midst of a coastal retreat with other gay men of New York. To their great misfortune, however, they happen to arrive at the lodging cleaned and otherwise maintained by Carl Ebling's sister, Ruth. At this point Ebling is in jail, and Ruth holds the creators of the Escapist comic books which so corrupted her brother responsible for his misguided efforts. When the police are alerted of the group's then-illegal activities Sammy and another man named Dave Fellows take refuge under the dining room table, where, for the privilege of maintaining a clean criminal record, they are raped by a pair of federal agents. 

Traumas such as this dehumanizing experience are the kind that drastically, fundamentally, and permanently change a person. The next day, as they are about to depart across the country, Sammy says to Bacon "'I just can't do it anymore, Bake,...It's just–I don't want to be like this.'" Baker refutes Sammy's ability to simply deny his nature; Sammy reasserts it. Bacon reaches for Sammy's hand; Sammy yanks it away. "Sammy felt...that he would rather not love at all than be punished for loving" (420). What use is being yourself if you have to hide from anyone that you don't trust (literally) with your life? At that point what is the difference, in a practical sense, from expression and suppression of your identity? To Sammy, now, this difference seems negligible.